Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Praise God!

I've been struggling with self-doubt lately in regards to my spiritual life. My failures in regards to spiritual matters. I feel like I am a weak pray-er and I've fallen way behind on my ladies' Bible study. It's frustrating when you feel like it's something you should and could fix, but you find all these reasons not to.

All day today, the song "When the Night is Falling" has been running through my head. When Sophie was just weeks old, she was diagnosed with the dreaded colic. It was just she and I at home all day and she would just scream and scream. Some days I would just hold her and cry too and sing, "how I love you child, I love you". Over and over. It was our theme song. No matter how long we would sit there, crying, I still loved her so much.

So, the entire day, I've been thinking about that time and, more specifically that song. Then, tonight, we sang that song at church. I immediately began crying. In church, y'all. Danna doesn't do that.

Now, you can take this story any way you want, but I believe God was comforting me. He was reminding me of where I am not a failure. Praising in song comes natural.

Unforgettable moments of praise to me:

  • singing "Hand in Hand" after my baptism, crying but not really understanding
  • my mom singing "He gave me a Song" (pretty much my entire childhood)
  • the Sunday night devos my freshman year at Harding in the lobby of the admin. building
  • the Sunday morning at Downtown (happy clappy) that when the service was over, the entire congregation erupted into spontaneous applause
  • hearing "I Will Praise You in This Storm" for the first time at the Casting Crowns concert

All of these moments were so special. And tonight God reminded me that to be able to praise is a gift He gave us. I cannot explain to you the feeling of comfort/euphoria I am experiencing right now. I feel like I just got back from a youth rally!


EB said...

I am so glad you had that kind of a night. I think, with all of the distractions of my kids and life, those moments don't come nearly like they used too! Glad to know someone else has to search too!
Carrie B.

Kathryn said...

Those Sunday night devos in the Administration building lobby are among some of my favorite memories from our freshman year at HU. I can remember squeezing people in there (it was often packed!) and the amazing singing like it was just yesterday. Thanks for reminding me of an unforgettable moment of praise!

Gina Savage said...

Praising God through song lifts my spirits through out the day. We put so much on ourselves as a mom and wife. I beleive our families are our daily ministry. To show Christ in every situation isn't easy but through prayer he will give us strength. Live by grace. I so miss those HU devos. Miss you bunches!!!

Jenn said...

You crack me up with the line, "Danna doesn't do that" Isn't it amazing how many times that God shows us his love and caring for US though situations with our children. God loves us all the time, though think and thin and though all of our "Colic" in our lives...I'm so thankful!!