Scary movies

A question I love - "you wanna hear something funny?"

A question I despise - "you wanna see something gross?"

Which leads me to this confession: I LOVE reading scary stuff, but CANNOT watch it. Not at all. I've read a ton of Stephen King books and been fine with them. (I know, he has a terrible potty mouth. I always thought that if you had to use profanity than that just meant you had a limited vocabulary. Of course, Mr. King knows lots of words so I don't know what his excuse is. Hmm, I've gotten off topic here...)

Okay, the point is I can read scary stuff and not have any problems sleeping. But, one wrong episode of the X Files or something and I have nightmares for a week. This is interesting to me. Is it because I have no imagination? That the pictures in my head when I read are boring and bland? Maybe it's because I don't like to watch movies. (or maybe this is why I don't like to watch movies. ooh, vicious circle!) Who knows, but here are movies that scared the phooey out of me:

• The Exorcist. I literally stayed up all night after seeing this movie. Not because of her head spinning around, but because of all the sacrilege. I just knew God was going to strike me down for watching it. I was young ...


• The Ring. I just about had an accident watching this. Didn't scare Jeff at all.


• Salem's Lot. Read the book, thought it was great. Saw the movie, hid behind my hands most of the time.


• The Lost Boys. Really liked it, but I'll be honest with you, I've never actually seen the whole thing. We had it on video and I would fast forward parts I thought might be scary.

Now comes the really embarrassing stuff. I got scared at least once in all 3 of the Star Wars movies. (I don't count those new ones.) I also got scared in all of the Indiana Jones movies. Those are action movies for pete's sake! It's the monsters, maybe. I'm afraid of monsters. There are several famous (classic) scary movies that I have never seen, and I guess, never will. I believe the old saying goes, some things can never be un-seen. So, better safe than sleepless.

And now, continuing with our theme of "things that give me nightmares", may I present to you my baby sister.

One more story:

yesterday, I was fixing lunch for myself while the girls were eating at the table. All of a sudden, Sophie starts hollering. What's wrong?! I say (thinking she had bitten her tongue).

"This grape pee-peed in my mouth!"

Now that's gross and funny.